Detrimental Blame

We would like to believe in our freedom to choose our destiny – even if horoscopes are amazingly popular!  After all we are humans gifted with brains and choices and daily decisions do shape what we think and what we do to ourselves and to others.  Still … this sense of free choice with its inherent consequences vanishes abruptly when we fail.  We are then quick to conclude that any other people, things or circumstances are the only reasons as we prefer to ignore our own contribution.

Sometimes we lick our wounds alone while the reasons and effects of our misery are wrapped in quiet and solitary frustration. Most of the times though we loudly and strongly project our emotions, motives, and consequences to the rest of the world.  We are quick to recognize exterior motives (whether true or conveniently fabricated) for anything bad that crosses our lives.  It is easier to blame the “universe minus us”.  Maybe because this saves our self esteem and it absolves our conscience from judgment, or it triggers a faster rebound if it is directed to/against the outside world.

Too often we snatch one individual or group of individuals that happen to be around and turn them into a scapegoat deserving to be burned at stake.  Our desire to find a tangible reason for our downfall usually wins against a feeble feeling of guilt that we may have had some, if not all the contribution to the problem.

  • Our company is not performing? It must be the stock market, the greedy shareholders, the restless employees, the competitors, or the government.
  • Our team has lost the game? It must be the referee, the spectators, or the coach.
  • Our car was wrecked in an accident? It must be the other driver, the road, the car, or the weather.
  • Our wallet is empty? It must be the misfortune, the employers, or the government.

point a fingerWe tend to point the finger at basically at whoever or whatever is in sight.  Our frustration finds an easy but brief comfort in making something or somebody responsible.  By all means not us!!  We were obviously right so something/somebody else must be wrong!

But this is a very myopic approach as we would have to admit that most of the times (not always!) the troubles or crises we endure involve are more often than not caused by our action or inaction, reaction or lack of reaction, decisions or lack of decisions.  By blaming the world for our failure we lose our chance to introspection, decisive involvement, and much needed improvement in the way we think, decide, and act.  And this is called accountability.